SNOTTINESS... Punk Rock Classic - World Contender - Worth A Listen - Average - Plastic - No Future
'Live on KXLU,Los Angeles'
Tape 1999
High jinx on Los Angeles radio! Yeah
the Bladder boys are let loose on the
airwaves. The DJ Justin Time on this
station was no John Peel and was truly
the biggest amateur radio jock I think
I've ever heard!!! It was like a
methadoned Howard Stern. He seems
like he's just come in from them there
hills! And he knew fuck all about dj'ing
or punk for that matter. Well thank fuck
the Bladders are on call to blast out
the cobwebs of this stale rock show
format. It's set-up like a John Peel
session only the bands have a full run
through of a set, followed by a brief
pisstaking interview. So we get a full
14-song set with only brief inter song
banter between the tracks. And you can
only imagine why with a DJ this bad!
This bootleg gives you a good idea of
what the lads sound like in a live
situation. Old favourites like 'US Dole
Queue' and the situationist 'Demand
The Impossible' rub shoulders with the
new ones like 'Designated Drinking
Driver'. And this is all spat out by a well
pissed up Mick Bladder who had to
supply some impressive ad-libs to the
lyrics amongst some out of tune solo's.
The other new one 'On The Wagon'
with it's great crashing chorus was also
debued. Sterlings guitar shines out and
he's rapidly becoming a new successor
to the Steve Jones school of
amplification. Oh by the way they
fleeced the radio station of all their
punk CD's as payment for having to put
up with such an dum cunt of a DJ. The
DJ eventually let slip he knew fuck all
about punk now or then in the after
show interview (so serves him right). I
was a bit disappointed the lads didn't rip
the piss out if him more coz he fucking
deserved it! Although on 'Living A Lie'
he got some well sarcy comments
aimed at him which he probably
wouldn't have comprehended in a
million years. 'No Go Girl' was another
catchy fast blast sing-a-ling followed by
one of the new albums highlights 'The
World Is Not Enough' with it's crime of
the century lyrics and addictive guitar
licks. They end things by slaughtering
'Rise' by
Pil and 'Ready Now' made
infamous by
Slaughter. Don't think this
is due for release but if you ask Mick I'm
sure he'd run you off a copy if you write
him a nice note or tell him about how
Stockport County are gods.
Check out
(scd 1248) CD 1999
Another first for 'Punk Rocker!'..yeah
poetry in motion! I never thought I'd be
reviewing 37 minutes worth of poetry
coz like Ska, PC, crusties, liars, cheats,
bully's and poseurs this ain't really my
bag of spanners. But I have to admit
T Carson has a somewhat
sniggeringly funny way of telling these
stories and what's even funnier is he
wants to be taken serious! And what a
relief to discover this ain't the boring
poetry that I was bought up on in
comprehensive schools of the 1970's.
No this is like brief passages from
some novel or diary. He's got a good
descriptive hold on words like for
"My morbid fascination with
cemetaries, mental wards and
which really had me
laughing. I like the more realistic tales
like 'Nervous Charlie' and
'Crawling Through Spiked Borders' all
about being banged up. But then we
have to sit through straight down the
line well ordered poems like
'Maple Tree' that reads like one of the
poems he submitted for a University
thesis or something. What's missing
from this CD is some guitar riff going
off in the background at certain
junctures or some wailing air raid siren
or sound effect as he describes his
world vision. Other subjects covered in
the 26 pieces include lost baggage,
being committed, and New Years Eve.
And as with all poetic license this ain't
something your gonna play again and
again unless your really into the sound
of one mans lone voice. Maybe if it had
something else going off in the
background it would've been more
interesting but this is only for the poets
out there, and like Monsieur Carson
spells out...
"There's always someone
and it doesn't have to be you!"

Check out the web site at
'Never Mind The McBollocks'
(cdoo1) CD 1999
When I first put this on I was
disappointed and thought what a
fucking waste! But after those first few
plays quite a few tracks got better and
now I must admit it's a grower. This
compilation is a good guide to what's
really kicking off in punk up in
Scotland, and was only faulted by the
prominent exclusion of
Menace, Sad Society
and of course
the Exploited. You can't help but get
sucked into the first track by
who are put in the shade by
that young baby gurgling away and
doing a great job in promotion.
Newtown Grunts
supply another
catchy fat blast of skanka punk. I
noticed a lot of the tracks have a Ska
feel which seems on epidemic
proportions in Scotland these days.
The Destructos are another high with
a great beefy guitar sound on 'Chatline
Girl'. Pity the vocals wasn't more up
4 Past Midnight carry on the
momentum on the angry 'As Our World
Turns' and that great in your face
guitar riff on the chorus.
The Gin
were a bit restrained from
what I was expecting. But sidekick
group the
Grisley Ghosts Of Guy
supplied the sinister slightly
inspired 'The Man That
Machine Gun Etiquette
offer the singalong 'Social Insecurity'.
3D Scream seek to be doing a
good imitation of
Newtown Grunts on
The Happy Spastics fill
in where
the Exploited should've
been with the same early style. So not
a bad compilation with only a few so so
tracks. Good to see a zine like
Runnin Feart) doing more than
slagging stuff off like that Suffragette
fucker used to do.
£6 or $10 postpaid
'On The Job With...'
promo Tape
By the time your reading this, the
Bladder boys will have released this
debut CD on Pelado Records from
California I think? So this premixed
version ain't the full story by a long
shot, but is a healthy audition for the
real thing. What I like most about
Bladder Bladder Bladder is their
utter disregard for their new homeland
and they tell it like it is! They don't
preach or try and look trendy they are
just fucking honest and rip the piss
gloriously! Some of the younger punk
bands could take a leaf out their well
dodgy cheque book. Coz tunes and
sing-a-long anthems are something
these cowboys churn out with rapid
regularity. Sure they may purloin a
Steve Jones power chord here or a
Clash song structure there, but who
better than to inspire a gang of
chancers than the best! The
boys have some great addictive
tuneage falling about all over this
13-song set for all you punk rock
swankers out there.'On The Wagon' is
possibly a state that
Bladder Bladder
will never be in! It's
sniggeringly funny with a beefy chorus,
as they spell out the trials and
tribulations of going without a drink.
These jokers are a laff a minute
courtesy of their Stockport/London
connection. Another version of 'Crime
Pays' is given an outing but I never get
bored of this song, with piss-taking
lyrics like...
"In the East end of the
wild west crime pays, Coz Uncle Sam
he likes white bread best crime
It sure fucking does when you've
got Hollywood as your backdrop
(ha!).What I find most amusing about
these cheeky fuckers is (and this might
not go down too well with the yanks
amongst us) their continual 'bite the
hand that feeds ya' philosophy on the
American dream. American ex-pats
ain't supposed to think like that are
they? Well these leeches do and I
admire em more for it (tee hee). The
duel vocals of Mick Bladder and
Sterling Paramour are a great buffer
for each other especially on their
calling card of 'Carry On Swanking' .
Which has Fatty Jones written all over
it. Followed by the upbeat 'The World
Is Not Enough' which takes us on a
roller coaster ride through a century of
swindling, scams and idling. You can't
blame em coz these yobs are singing
about it and probably living it to a
certain degree which deserves respect
from these cold climates. If I was there
I'd be doing just the same. I was a bit
dubious about the inclusion of the two
covers including a tame version of
'Rise' by
PIL, a Bladder original
would've been more than welcome, but
who cares coz I don't. 'On The Job'
looks set to more than wet any punks
whistle for their fully blown 'Demand
The impossible' ransom demands. God
Save The Queen marr saan!
For more info check out
'Another Fine Day'
(nra80cd) CD 1999
From the bad to the ugly! God I
fucking hate this uninspiring, safe,
session musician guitar drivel!!! A type
of music that has that tired pansy vocal
harmonizing and ultra melodic feel
about it all over the place! This ain't
fucking can't be!!!! 13 tracks
of unusually safe rock, especially for
the ugly mug shots who sing and play
on it. You'd expect that these world
weary fuckers would have some great
street story's to tell us instead of
middle aged and sanitised sonnets,
that have as much to do with punk as
U2. There ain't no real anger here and
there ain't no scorch mark identity that
could make this band stick out. In fact
Badtown Boys seem a pretty faceless
bunch. This music don't show no
character as far as I can see, and I've
played the fucker a few times hoping
I'd missed something but apparently I
ain't. On a good point It's played well
and they know their instruments but I'm
afraid play-in instruments well does not
always signify great punk rock you
need something more. 'Another Fine
Day' is just too fucking squeaky clean
and too well rehearsed!!! Sack the
singer, lose some weight, get rid of the
facial hair and try and capture that
early spirit what got you into this
fucking game in the beginning!!!!
Badtown USA huh!
'The Punk Collection'
(ahoycd102) CD 1999.
I was well impressed by this UK band
from the dark distant days of the late
70's. I always remembered seeing their
name supporting the bigger guns at
London's Lyceum back in heady
1980's, but never actually got to hear
em until this come through the post.
From the first track 'Inside Out', which I
vaguely recognized from some long
lost John Peel show many moons ago,
I knew these were gonna be more than
just a name. It's one of those songs
that sticks to you like a beggar in a
pub, but you just can't put a name to it.
So once those crashing power chords
and well timed halted punktuations
kicked in, it bought it all back. I was
shocked to read in the sleeve notes
that these had been around in one
shape or form since '76! Before they
fizzled out somewhere in Europe circa
88! They were never big news
amongst the then cliquey London punk
music media, coz coming from the
wrong end of the country (Blackburn to
be precise) had big disadvantages...
mores the pity.
The Stiffs represent a
type of punk that's probably
associated with melodic new wave by
today's brutal standards. But don't get
the wrong idea, coz
the Stiffs have a
fucking powerful motor running under
their well composed addictive bonnet.
And as some disc jockey who once
referred to em as being
"the Slade of
the 1980's"
was never taken seriously,
on this 20-track slab it's pretty well
founded. Phil Hendriks lead vocals/
guitar ain't no guttural Noddy Holder,
but he does have a hard, no-messing
powerful vocal to trade off with the
crunching but articulate dual guitars.
They also have a strange Glitter band
sound as well in a few of the songs,
which don't sound half as bad as it
reads. Especially on the atmospheric
'It's Not Rock 'n' Roll' with it's echoing
"Hey" chants and the big beefy Phil
Spector sound alike of 'Yer Under
Attack'. They do slow things down on
their more commercial attempts in
songs like 'Affairs Of The Heart' which
don't really do much for em, unlike
their more energetic numbers...
'Volume Control' and the classy
'Innocent Bystander'.
The Stiffs live
up to their name and know how to
create a dog rough glance at the
opposite sex in what's gotta be a love
song, dare I say it! Yeah in today's
punk circles it's sacrilege and pretty
hard to find a song like this but
'Goodbye My Love' is similar to the
Star Jets in the way they can really
pull it off without it being naff...pardon
the pun. You can also tell by any band
who sing about guitars (
Guitar Gangsters
) etc. that they have
a love affair with em and like
maybe that's why the Stiffs
never really connected with an
audience on a bigger scale, coz they
were just yer average Joe off the
streets who played sweat ridden, loud,
rock 'n' roll that was too powerful or
fiery to be categorized under anything
else but punk. Probably their best
song if not the catchiest came via the
infectious '(Bring On the) Chelsea
Girls' that could've stormed the charts
easy with the right backing.
The Stiffs
made a comeback at this years
Morecambe all-dayer so I dunno how
that went?, but with songs like 'Inside
Out' and 'Chelsea Girls' I bet they were
worth seeing. So check this out if yer
can coz it's well
The Stiffs or
Captain Oi! Records
'Attack of the Bloodsucking
(oinko11) CD 1999.
These are fucking mad, goofy and
very funny on this their debut album of
curiosities. 'Attack Of The
Bloodsucking Retards' is like taking a
ride through the subconscious of some
pissed off lunatic. They have captured
the burlesque humour of the
Dead Kennedy's and the looniness of
a zombified
Dickies in attitude and
style. The only thing missing is tighter
arrangements, but that's a minor detail
cos this 15 song slab of entertainment
is a rare find in today's punk scene! It's
got no boundaries, no regimented
formula and most of the tracks come at
you from completely different angles.
Quite a surprise too, considering it's
out on the ultra 'street- punk' label
Oink! Records. But a welcome one!
The Pillage People (great name) kick
off with the addictive 'Hey Koolaid Man'
that's an energetic ghost-ride through
South American government crimes
and conspiracies and is probably their
most addictive song on the album with
it's chanting chorus. I also love the
cryptic organ that makes an
appearance at timely moments on this
platter. This band ain't scared to
experiment too. They're definitely not
for those of a nervous disposition as
the intro to 'Gas Chamber' proves! It's
good enough to put the biggest serial
killer off a murderous spree! The song
topics are across the board which I like
and cover such suburbanite topics as
Jail addiction, sperm, high school
killings and waste disposal cover ups
which gives it a comical but diverse
The Pillage People who hail
from the car jacking capitol of the US
(Delaware) are fucking certifiably mad
as hell but have fun doing it which in
turn makes it fun to listen to coz they
have a great novel way of dishing out
their punk tunes. They opt for the
more traditional punk blasts on 'Waste
Of Sperm' that has a good solid punk
riff running through courtesy of co-
songwriter Rahne Pastor who also
produced this set of morbid curiosity.
No morals in a punk band is a
redeeming quality and sadly missing in
today's climate, but it gives these
jokers that extra edge. If you can't
point out some of life's facts why
bother? Most of the songs are wrote
by the deadly duo of Pastor and lead
singer Aric Calfree who looks like Jello
Biafra circa '80 on the cover shot. So
maybe the resemblance ends there...
coz the humour certainly don't. This
bands seeps humour like the sewers in
Royston Vasey, and in the same black
kinda way. Take 'Dead Rock Stars'
which is a rundown of the fatalities in
rock with the classic line of "
Easy E
was felled by Aids, I hope the rest
use razor blades'
(snigger), which
sums this album up. They also do a
funny version of that old sixties hit 'The
Blob'. That great cheesy organ rears
it's ugly little head one more time on
the penultimate track 'Life Is Ugly So
Why Not Kill Yourself' which boasts
some fucking nutter letting rip over a
pumping organ.
The Pillage People
just basically take the piss but it's done
with very sharp originality! Check
these out coz they are sick, mad and
insane just like all good punk bands
should be.
$12.00 Oink! Records PO Box 27813,
Washington, DC 20038, USA or
'God Bless Starjets
Punk Collection'
(ahoycd99) CD 1999
First time I actually heard anything by
this late 70's Belfast punk band. And I
gotta say on this collection it's a pretty
good diverse sound. Their style is
straight from the early poppy side of
the late 70's UK punk arena. Similar to
he Skids if you want a rough
comparison, but
the Starjets had a lot
more scope courtesy of duel guitarists/
vocalists...Terry Sharpe and Paul
Bowen. They supply some great
catchy power pop punk vocals that
come in a crisp production in this their
21 song repertoire. You can see why
record giants Epic snapped em up!
They were classed in some punk
circles as the Bay City Rollers of punk!
Which is understandable with their
youthful boy next door looks and clean
cut vocal harmonies. Take 'Run With
the Pack' as a prime example. You can
sniff they were going all out for the
bigger chart success, which sometimes
got em giving us really throwaway
ballads. This CD won't attract the noise
boys out there but if your a punk with a
penchant for more melodic punk
outtings then this on further listening
will actually have you hooked. But by
the Starjets best attributes were
their splendid anthems like on 'What A
Life'. It's got great chorus and guitars
attacks. They also know how to
change style with ease and on the
sugar coated intro to 'Smart Boys'
which gives it a really sickly sweet feel
you think oh noooo but before you
chuck the CD in the bin it quickly turns
into a smart little new wave number
that actually fucking works!
have the knack to create
addictive tales through their songs of
life amongst the back-drop of the
troubles, especially with songs about
love across the divide. Which 'I'm So
Glad' that has a brilliant lyric of
"Religions in our way, Ignorance Is
tragic, I've even heard them say,
Cupid was a Catholic"
and the
optimistic 'War Is Over' along with the
brilliant 'War Stories' single that
reached the UK charts back in 1979.
They have harmonies that the boy
bands of today would kill for but
instead of manufactured kids and
samples singing em you've got punks
from the war torn streets of Belfast with
duel guitars and addictive rifferama
kicking off in the background, these
songs are actually real. 'Shiraleo' was
another hypnotic singalong blast and
the last record to be released under
the Starjets tag. They changed their
name to
Tango Brigade when
co-singer Paul Bowen left and
released the atmospheric 'Donegal'
and 'In Vain' 45 which seen em
disappear.Yeah Northern Ireland had a
knack of producing snappy exciting
punk bands and although
the Starjets
are probably more poppy than most
they are well
Captain Oi! Records
'The Boys'
(ahoycd101) CD 1999
Another rerelease here from the UK's
Captain Oi! stable, and this time it's
The Boys debut album (plus bonus
tracks), which was first released in the
summer of hate 1977.
The Boys
however were pretty much classed as
second division punk compared with
the bigger guns of the
Pistols and
Clash. They also had bad luck with the
original release due to some fat fucker
called Elvis kicking the bucket!, so this
got pretty much ignored by the music
press when it hit the streets. And to tell
you the truth, they had far too few
really standout classics cuts amongst
their set. But with hindsight this a great
collection and shows us just how good
the smaller, lesser known original UK
punk bands actually were.
The Boys
always had a heavy rock 'n' roll feel to
their sound particularly with Casino
Steels piano, and this for me is their
only detraction. Gimme an organ but a
piano just don't cut if for me. They do
however use it low in the mix which I
think was planned to give em more
edge. And along with some great
cocky vocals, supplied by Kid Reed
and Matt Dangerfield make this album
worth your attention. I do like the way
they have clever simple lyrics that
portrays a lifestyle of sex and drugs
and rock 'n' roll...and of course being
skint which added that real life touch to
em. This band were a groupie magnet
by all accounts and unlike the boring
straight-edge punks of today who are
more prone to a life-style of papal
proportions they certainly had a few
songs up their sleeves about their
shagging, drinking and drug exploits.
Songs that were dead witty without
being blatantly sexist. Their best track
on this album and probably in their
entire career is captured in the classic
second single 'First Time' , all about
losing your cherry! A slow but powerful
addictive number with it's fatalistic
Oh Oh Oh"
chants on the chorus
secures em a place up there with the
best of em. Another favourite was 'Cop
Cars' with it's typical '77 police siren of
wailing guitars in the background and
of course 'I Don't Care' for obvious
The Boys had some great
catchy ditties on this release and
although they ain't all out and out
classics there ain't really a bad track
amongst em, and there's fucking 22 to
choose from. They end the collection
with the hilarious 'Worm Song' , an
adaptation of some old nursery rhyme,
which they released under pseudonym
the Yobs for Xmas 1977. Great
sleeve notes and lyrics. Definitely a
for this prime slice of punk history.
Captain Oi! Records
'Left Opposition'
(haus029) CD 1999
Fast manic depressive, powerful
political hardcore here with local angry
Assert from Telford. First
time I'd heard these on vinyl and have
only just seen em in a live situation,
which was a bit disappointing. No
confrontational outbursts, no bashing
around the walls that I had heard they
were capable of. But to be fair to
veteran singer Britt who was spewing
up prior to the gig, he wasn't in the
best of health! But back to the album,
yeah this is a real surprise for me.
Assert have their own sound if that's
possible in the straightedge UK
hardcore scene and that's mainly down
to Britts vocals. They are pretty
unique, a sort of Lemmy crossed with
Leon Trotsky, if you get my meaning?
Angry and determined with a snarl that
sets the songs apart from the
hounding pack. I somehow couldn't get
into the pseudo-intellectual lyrics that
read like they are from a Socialist
Workers mag. But hell I'm just another
dumb white suburban punk! Although
Assert's Sinister and O'Sqeel (bass
and guitar respectively) have sussed
out how to change guitar gear in
mid-song without it becoming a chore
to listen to, the sometimes tinny drum
sound and that hardcore stop/start
structure that this type of punk seems
bound to, leaves me feeling frustrated.
Lets hope the new drummer-boy from
Wolves can show em the light! 'A.T.V.'
is one of the standout tracks to shout
."the Alien box in the
followed by the anti-labour
'United Colours' which is my favourite
track along with the pounding
'Statement Of Intent' , all about working
class solidarity. Fucking hell the
working class hate each other where I
come from! I couldn't take a double
album of this rhetoric though, coz there
ain't one glimmer of humour in or
around this band. They are just too
fucking depressing which adds to their
intensity but leaves a monotonous
atmosphere in the air. 'Left Opposition'
is definitely music to man the
barricades with or to play before your
going into the ring. But to listen to this
for pure punk entertainment or fun
leaves me cold. Maybe I'm an old cunt
with no stamina anymore but it would
be good to hear these make a joke
song, just for the crack! But I doubt
that chief tyrant and Assertive
revolutionary Britt would let his shield
drop or stand for that kinda nonsense
within his band.
just for the intensity coz you certainly
won't need an ice pick to make your
ears burn with this album.
Household Name Records
'Speak Up Brown...Your Mumbling'
(hsI14) CD 1999
This Stoke band are a hard bunch of
straight, misfits to weigh up? First and
foremost their pop punk attitude is a
hard one to get round in the Wolf's
Lair, I can tell ya. Call me glum or
moody but I wanna be entertained not
nullified by throwaway poppy songs. It
just don't do it for me! This bright,
happy, false feel to their music just
grates with me. And those comedy
vocals make this an odd 16- song
collection. What
Destination Venus
do have going for em is a good
powerful duel guitar sound, and of
course they don't take themselves too
seriously! Which is good. They have a
handful of catchy numbers and 'Speak
up Brown...' does get slightly better
with more plays. They seem to be
living out their Stoke On Trent fantasy
on this CD. A dream-world of birds,
booze and surf. Which to anyone
who's ever had the misfortune to visit
the grey inbred streets of Stoke will
know that ain't nor could ever be true.
Crabby the quirky vocalist pours out
his heart on getting a bird, going down
the match and loads of other
lighthearted observations, in tracks like
'Ist time', 'Dweeb' and 'Suckers'. Their
best songs were probably the football
rousing 'Saturday' and the infectious
'He Goes Everywhere', about a stalker
(snigger). At least they pick a couple of
varied covers to bang out with that
oldie 'Spaceman' and the
'Capitol Radio'. Destination Venus
are a bunch of seasoned sensibly
dressed blokes who can play their
instruments, know a tune or two and
can belt em out as good as the next.
But as I said this type of jokey punk
doesn't really get me motivated at all
and leaves ya with an
sounding album.
IMPACT link for where they are
'Channel Fiction'
(tv99) CD 1999
French TV Men have always had a
shoddy reputation, so why name your
band after cunts like that eh? Well this
version of
TV Men have been around
a few years now and they play rock 'n'
roller kinda punk in an
Iggy & The
vein, which ain't bad in
places, but those god awful broken
English vocals read positively like an
'Ello Ello' sketch! So forget the lyrics
coz they mean fuck all...this is a band
who sing about macho lovers, porn
mags and being chased by the FBI
(snigger). It's the duel guitars that
sustain the Asheton breaks and vibes
but it all seems so ordinary in the long-
run coz nothing at all on here grabs
ya. The whole 9 tracks leave a pretty
lame taste in your mouth. They do a
Supersuckers theme song which will
win em no favours but it is probably the
most lively song on the CD! On the
whole though this is just like being
witness to demos from a
tribute session but without
Iggy and
Ron Asheton of course. Not bad, but
not good either just fucking
I guess.
Mass Production Records.
Demo Tape 1999
These are a young trio of kids from up
in Scotland. So maybe they can learn
something before it's too late to realise
this dross ain't gonna do us or them
any favours. From the opening chords
this six-track demo sounds like indie
rock! Which is the harbinger of doom
for this punk rock web site. And no I
won't and fucking will not condone
indie rock in any shape or form. It's like
a bad form of the pox, it's gets all over
the place and needs radical
disinfection right now! Talk about
dreary and depressing with that Kurt
Cobain heroin feel hanging around on
tracks like 'Acid Rain'. No this is too
bland and too fucking student for my
senses. They had one good guitar riff
on the last track 'Sticky Hippy' but that
ain't gonna save this from the pit of
banality. File under
for you!
I lost their address but it's alright boys,
I don't wanna embarrass you any
further OK! NEXT!!!!
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