A call to be TALLL! ... THINK about it.
I invite you to join my new campaign to save the tall Human in the great U.S. of A. I am tired
of the little green man getting me down, man, and it's time to fight back:
Welcome to TALLL: Too American to Let Leprechauns Live! Pleez send your munny to
support this impertinent cozz, at P.O. Box Zero, Dumbfuckville Plaza, Idiot City, U.X.A.
Greetings, concerned people of stature without magic!
Why is it the leprechaun can call me "big Human" and they giggle with glee, and if I say
"wee" they call me a leprechaunist???!!!
A leprechaun dances and you call it a jig. If I try and danse you say I copy Saint Vitus. How
do you think that makes me feel? If I say "sprite" or "fairyman" they call me "MeatSack"!
Think about that. Is that fair?
The leprechaun looks up at me and laughs and laughs in his top hat with the belt buckle on
it. I look down, cuz otherwise I can't see 'em and they say I think I'm so big. Why is it only
the leprechaun can be small and only I can be tall?
I know now you understand how urgent and impotent it is to be TALLL. But wait, there's
They're MY Lucky Charms, I stole them and that pot-o'-gold fair and square! Property IS
theft, everyone sez so.
And they've got NO bizness putting BLUE moons (what, they're into Smurf Power, too?) and
PURPLE clovers (a marshmallow mutation! how dare they mess with God's great plan for
GREEN marshmallow clovers!) in my Charms? In MY world moons are for MOON PIES,
and clovers are GREEN, like that leprechaun soap that smells so bad, and they better have
four leafs! Do they think that just because I am bigger than them, and Human, that I am too
dum to C?
And to beat me to a pulp with the end of that rainbow thing ... Don't they know how I hurt,
inside and on the outside of my body?
They get to have St. Patrick's Day, and get to get drunk! If I want a Tall Human Day, they
call me "Giant Idiot." They get their "blarney," but they call me a "liar"!
****!!!!! PLEEZ don't let the leprechauns ruin R grate cuntry! Join me in being TALLL
(only DNA-certified TALLL people are illegible) !!!!!!*****
thank you and god bless the Human race. Pleez help us fite against this tide of illegal
leprechauns. we need yore help 2day ... before they have put rainbows and pots of gold
everywhere and block out the vision of all our hard-earned billboreds and freeway signs!
there is no room for wee magical sprites inside our bored-derrs. I am TALLL and proud.
Why are only Humans called leprechaunists?
***&&&&!!!!!! >>>>> TALLL Update-Of-The-MINUTE:
Burton Cummings, even tho he is form Canada, and that is weeird--but he is not a midget!--
has awesomely agreed to let The Organizashun use the magnificent Human Pride ode,
"Stand Tall," as our anthem:
"Stand TALLL! Don'tcha fa-ah-ah-ALL! (ya got me dow-OW-n on my knees, leprechaunical
Cuz all it rilly is, is silly HUMAN PRIDE!"
"Short people got no reason to live." (Some Jew down in Hollywood sings this.)
Don't B small, B TALLL!
!!!!!***** Think about it. ... R U reddy to be TALLL? ******!!!!!!
As Decreed by the Very Highest, Most Mighty, and TALLL-iest
Grand Imperial Towering Potentate for Silly Human Pride
(TALLL Order No. 13692525666.001)
by Bob Gnarly, Portland, Oregon