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SPIN Vol. 17 #5
May 2001
****
Well for a start this ain't a fanzine
although it could well have had it's
birth in that realm? I dunno maybe
someone out there does? Being as
this is the first time I've read this US
trendy mag, for a glossy read it sure
dishes out the beans! This is the
issue that celebrates 25 years of
punk. And unlike a lot of UK mags that
will be appearing in the next 18
months SPIN thankfully concentrates
on the American side of events. Which
for me was a great relief. I expecting
yet more reruns of the
Pistols which
I've read so many times before, but
this is worth any punks £3.00... once
you've clambered over every other
page of ads!!!!!! There's 20 solid
pages dedicated the punk
phenomenon. And they're littered with
some great rare pix, eyewitness
accounts and trivia. It's dominated by
a very good account of the
Ramones
from day 1. Along with a great
rundown of some of their blitzkrieg
classics by the band themselves. But
is straight 'out of date' considering
Joey just died prior to this hitting the
shelves. But forget that coz we can
decide whether or not the
Ramones
or the
Pistols actually define punk?
Well this issue naturally goes with the
yanks tee hee. But old Joe Strummer
is up there given a page to himself But
he ain't aged well and sounds such a
sad old cunt! However between his
masquerading masquelero hang-up,
at least he's honest. Especially when
he admits "You couldn't get from Janie
Jones to Sandanista quicker if you
tried!" A lot of punks from the past
and present get an even crack of the
whip. With some good punk rock
insights including Jayne County
(Electric Chairs), Lard Friederickson
'(Rancid), Exene Cevenka (X) and
Dexter Holland (Offspring). Plus
there's also a splendid insight into the
West Coast scene with even more
rare pix. So like every other mag
doing this 25 year thing we get the '50
Most Essential punk records' that any
part-timer would choose. Good job
these charts are neither here nor
there, coz if your a young kid and are
going by this as gospel there were
some very odd additions indeed.
Although the
Ramones debut LP
being number one was near enough
for me. Of the none punk articles,
there's a good Dope Delivery Girl
piece that'll keep you glued, but that
was it! Not the kind of mag I'd normally
go for but check this issue out if your
into punk. And of course check out
their web site
SPIN
4 MINUTE WARNING #2
Feb, 2001 ****
This is one zine that's come on in
leaps and bounds from last years
debut issue. I knew Mitch the editor
and Nihilism On The Prowl! Columnist
had an axe in her handbag, and this
bumper 36 A4 page issue is finally
testament to that. A fucking good
read! You know you've got a good zine
in your hands when you turn the page
constantly and something else jumps
out worth reading. Coz lately some
zines just have pages and pages of
dross in between the good stuff, but
this keeps yer eyes scanning for 95%
of the read. And to be a good read,
you need all walks of punk life
involved, which this issue boasts!!!
This ain't just your regulation Anarcho
manifesto of bands beliefs and politics,
although that attitude take the lions
share. Naaaaah you also get a brief
but straight
Oxymoron interview from
Germanys only real Streetpunks. And
from good old blighty those
Mad
Chihuahuas
Harrogates fucking
drunken reprobates supply the abuse
and some wanker from
Wolverhampton called Peter Don't
Care takes a pogo down safety-pin
lane. Yeah it seems Mitch will interview
anyone these days! But ain't that just
how it should be? A pot pourri of punk
lowlife adorning the stapled pages. But
if you want the more run of the mill
punk bands and individuals there's a
few of those too. In fact you can
choose from the likes of the ultra polite
and equally less inspiring Taffs
Foreign Legion, or the Varukers
(yawwwwwn). And of course not
forgetting the Anarcho sector which
this time around supply's some
interesting views from Devon's  
Abusive Youth and the Mr and Mrs
of UK Anarcho punk
P.U.S. So
something for everyone! There's loads
of guest reviews too, including gigs,
records and zines which all spell out
the gritty facts from the samples
provided. Another big improvement is
the layout, this is cut 'n' paste, typed
'n' handwritten chunkyness, which has
an attitude and style that is slowly
giving it a unique feel. Only downer
this issue being that some of the
bands just aint interesting enough to
supply a fucking enthusiastic enough
response!!! Hey you fucking cunts
think on, if you read like some
mumbling moron going through the
motions with as much charisma as a
job seekers adviser, what's that say for
your music? On the whole though 4
Minute Warning is quickly creeping up
into the higher echelons of the top UK
punk reads today. Looking forward to
the next one. This issue is dedicated
to Mitch's sister who died tragically last
year.
£1.20 & A4 S.A.E. from Mitch Elsden
31 Fir Grove, Marton, Blackpool,
Lancs, FY16PJ, U.K.
RANT #1
2001
***
Another debut photocopied piece of
slash 'n' epoxy'd residual from a village
in Leicestershire. And it seems there's
a healthy new resurgence of zine life
making a desperate yelp from even our
country lanes. Which has gotta be
healthy, I reckon.
Rant is done by
another more experienced punk who
survived the early 80's punk wars. But I
reckon it's never too late to pick up a
pen and scribble your rants down and
print em up. Especially if your inspired.
It seems Mick the tattooed mohican
editor is inspired!
Rant comes in the
Neo-classic style of 1980's Britain. You
can even sniff the tell tale stench of
1982 curling up from its pages. This is
mostly a handwritten fanzine done in a
rough 'n' ready way, that visually
screams punk. But like a lot of debut
zines it seems to be struggling to fill
page space. But I'm sure all that
wasted space will be sorted out once
he twists his full ranting head on, we
hope? The list of inspiration and
contributions ranges from a few dire
souls to the more healthier punk wing
of the UK scene. Which is a good sign.
And the 2 bands interviewed are
Stanley's only claim to punk rock fame
Barse 77. Who disappointingly come
over as a tamer low-alcoholic version
of the
Mad Chihuahuas. Thank god
their racket is more of a laff. And we
get a deserved
M.D.M. interview
poached from somewhere else. Mandy,

M.D.M's
peroxide singer is one of the
few punkettes out there today doing
what's she's always done. Sing in a
punk rock band, promote and produce
a solid repertoire of punk. Mick also
throws in a good dose of record, zine
and gig reviews. And has a few rants
on the boil too. Seems he's a big
anti-PC (computers not etiquette -
dumbo) zealot. But that cant be
helped. I give him 18 months before
he's prowling the web like the rest of
us. He's poached the UK's most prolific
feature zinestress in Mitch Elsden.
Who donates a
Test Tubes
biography. And he gives us a 4-page
Anti-Heroes piece too. Their UK
guitarist Mark McGee is one of Mick's
old drinking buddies. Another
promising debut that comes in the rare
these days A4 size too.
Free with a large 75p s.a.e. from 9
Sutton Court, 47 Leicster Road,
Broughton Astley, Leicestershire, LE9
6QE, England
SCANNER #9
January 2001
****
This is the 'Cannibal issue' as
Hannibal Lector stares out from the
latest Vivienne Westwood head wear
creation.....a growing boy needs his
lunch! He sure does and us starving
punks need their staple diet of punk
print and Scanner looks like it's the
main course. Yeah I'd say this is one
the best issues yet! Steve is a lot of
things... a malt whiskey junkie, a little
reserved for us gobshites some-
times, but his main asset is he
certainly gives you the goods.
Scanner #9 is packed. And I mean
secreted with textured print and
viewable images. A bulging
semi-booklet of views, news and clues
as well as the odd...
"never knew
that?"
Which is always good to learn in
a zine. Well it's all in this issue, which
boasts with ease about covering a
very good cross section of the punk
public. Sat at the top table of spiky
ambassadors of guttural knowledge
who get the once over in this issue are
the Berkeley Lords of Darkness
AFI.
They really made me wanna check em
out,. There's open heart surgery with
Hudson Falcons and a very honest
Steam Pig from Dublin induction. We
also get Nihilism On The Prowl!
evacuee
Mick Mercer answering all
the questions I forgot to ask, plus a
live in the dressing room talk to the

Generators
. We then get Movielife
and a rare new British outfit
Anthem
Of A Century
give us some pretty
pedestrian insights but the good far
outweighs the mediocre. The main
guest articles on the other hand still
left me a bit dazed 'n' confused with
the regular political stuff being way too
highbrow to attract my interest on one
side and some dead American
superwoman on the other? Plus we
get some Cannibalistic facts & figures.
Silence Of The Lambs comes under
the movie profile. Oh yeah there's a
'Don't Care backlash' letter which has
being dealt with. Plus the healthier
looking by the issue, of columnists.
Good to see they're gradually
becoming whittled down and replaced
with people who either have something
to say or ain't prone to send us to
sleep with yawning faeces. There's a
great back page image supplied by Mr
Hoola Hoop himself, which is nice 'n'
sleazy and does it every time! And of
course the usual plethora of record
zines and gig reviews that on the
whole tell it like it is. But a lot of the
stuff is really just too indie inspired for
my studded lapel. Having said that
Scanner is probably the best all round
punk read in the UK today, so check it
out while you can. Steve Scanner has
just took a 3 month Sabbatical to New
Zealand of all places and should be
still there as you read this. So expect
issue 10 late Summer 2001 whenever
he comes back? Hope he does coz it's
a chunky punk read and well worth the
quid of anyone's money.
SCANNER
SAVAGE AMUSEMENT #12
Jan May/2001 ***
Latest issue from Mr Hagl and more of
the same, but with a new logo ...gee
whizz!!! And a new address...shock
horror!!! But the attitudes the same
and that's all we need to know coz it's
spot on. There's a bucket full of
reviews and news in this ten-page A4
spread from the street. Trev's just
released a new CD by local band
Barse '77, and there's a brief biog on
them plus a load of other stuff for sale.
You can get this for a
S.A.E. c/o Rosehill, 20 New Front St,
Tanfield Lea, Stanley, Co Durham,
DH9 9LY, UK
trevhagl@hotmail.com
SCANNER #10
Summer 2001 ***
Steve's back from his New Zealand
exodus and it seems he's still got his
converse trainer well and truly stuck to
the Scanner peddle. You can't help
but champion his rapid and
enthusiastic writing skills. This geezer
could write for England, but I suspect
he's held back by the 84!!! page
limit...thank god (snigger). The
mammoth 12-page travelogue from NZ
demonstrates this literally. Gotta admit
I'm prone to travel diary's especially
when the writer encounters the
underbelly of punk life in foreign
towns. But call me a one town punk if
you like coz to me NZ ain't really like
that, is it? Well my ignorant
preconception wasn't far wrong on this
report. Coz NZ is full of picturesque
scenarios and blood sucking sea
midges instead of flat beer and vomit.
So although not really my favoured
journal subject, It has got it's fair share
of good bars in each town. This opus
is done in a none technical way too.
So we don't have to suffer with too
much glazier orgasms and Cumulus
sunsets. What we do get is a down to
earth glimpse of life, plus encounters
with the locals. And from what I gather
Steve's expecting the 'thumbs down'
for it's inclusion from his less
interested subscribers...philistines
bah! The zine's columns are a bit old
hat this issue. Most of em read like too
much reminiscing for comfort. And I
gotta admit I'm at fault here too so lets
move on swiftly tee hee. We also get
burdened with a handful of
non-entertaining bands in interview.
God what a boring bunch to be stuck
in a cell with is all I can say. Not one of
em even tempted me to check out
their music if these boffs lie behind it's
creation. But
Anti Flag's in-house
hypochondriac Justin Sane was the
cavalry who coughed and spluttered
his way to our rescue. He tells us why
the band really did pull off the
Dropkick Murphy's tour too. Also
another highlight suprisingly for me,
was Dan McKee's usually yawningly
'right on' political prose. But this time
round it was right up my street. It
involves a 'fly on the march' account
from the recent May Day London
protest. Exposing 'Plod' to be even
more worryingly clever and devious
than they usually are. It was a first
hand, first class dose of paranoia in
print....or was it? More of this kinda
reality Mr McKee and you'll get the
thumbs up from Nihilists, piss artists
and any other cunt with a bone of
contention. The reviews as always are
spot on, but some of the crud that gets
sent in is bordering on the banal. And
Steve's taste in music is starting to
include more and more indie drivel,
especially on the live front. Which is
alarming for a punk rag. He's 99% on
the mark as far as the punk reviews
go. But these sadly consist of only
about 25% of the 18 pages!!! Having
said that, there's one heck of a slab of
music to pick from. The zine reviews
on the other hand are all a must read
and he regularly covers the best out
there. So not his best issue to date but
definitely the most concentrated read
you'll likely to get in the UK punk
scene today.
SCANNER
JELLYBRAIN #8 ****
This zine has got more sarc, more
innuendo and more scathing bitterness
hiding beneath it's jovial English
cartoony exterior than the showers in
Belsen! Jellybrain makes me snigger in
all the wrong places. Paul the editor
and erstwhile drummer in his beloved
Raggity Anne, now resides on the
drum stool of Walsall's
Norma Jeans.
And he proves a point that not all
drummers are slow dimwits who are just
in a band to keep the beat. No this cunt
has got more axes to grind than a
battalion of Hells Angels on a turf war.
His sly black humour is a delight at
times and at others I question his
sanity? He seems to be carrying an
almighty big greasy inky chip on his
shoulder! The world owes him a living
and we're here to pay! Ha! Has he
finally lost it?...hope so, coz it's great
entertainment watching it eat him up
inside. This is a classic example of a
pissed off zinewriter airing his views on
an ungrateful, inconsiderate
public...and I love it! Not coz it's all out
ranting mayhem but becoz it's more
undermined, below the belt sleaziness
at it's worst. There's an hilarious
column on 'Why You Don't Find
Discarded Porn Mags Anymore' and a
spot on rundown on 'What The Fuck
Has Happened To Real Films'. These
off the wall views hit the ball every time.
There's a good
Brezhnev tour diary
which gives you the real fly on the wall
situ. of life on the road playing to 15
people in a UK back street boozer. The
zine reviews are dotted with some
brilliant anecdotes. Take this splitzine
review for example
"Another cozy get
together as 2 different zines snuggle
up to each other for a kiss and a
cuddle next to the photocopier!"
(tee
hee)...see what I mean? It's gems like
that what make this essential. His
record reviews are in the same league
serving up the odd delight such as
The
Eyeliners
rave review....."I like
eyeliner on a girlie the same as like the
girls.... thick 'n' slutty"
. Now that's gotta
go down as one of the funniest sexist
lines since maybe an early
Stranglers
LP. The interviews in this issue
however were weak in comparison with
the
Frankenstein Drag Queens and
Dogwalker coming over as obvious
space fillers! But you don't read
Jellybrain for insight and background
information on bands, this is purely for
the sick humour. He even makes
'Paedophilia... Now There's A Touchy
Subject' slightly amusing, thank fuck it's
a put down!!! As always Jellybrain is
inundated with some good cartoon
sketches and facts 'n' trivia. So get this
28 page read now. If your American
you might not appreciate it's irony quite
so much but it's well worth
investigating. Oh yeah look out for my
war of words on this site in retaliation to
Mr Jellybrains recent dissing in
Scanner #9. It's gonna be good one.
JELLYBRAIN
RIOT ON YOUR OWN #7 ****
Weeeeh Heeeeyyy more punk insight
from Belfast which makes a change.
The last time I read a zine from Barbed
Wire central was way back in 1997
and the short lived but good 'Give It A
Blast' zine. And in keeping with that
'Riot Of Your Own' owns the same
impressive dry sensa yuma trademark,
which is good to read. This is a real
basic looking zine but what it lacks in
layout and artistic design it more than
makes up for in attitude and humour.
And guess what? The editor Bill is a
big
Clash fan and old warhorse from
the summer of hate (tee hee). Seems
like not all us old cunts go and fade
away or become big fat caricatures of
our former selves. Well not yet at
least. The main theme all through this
fast 24-page read is the pictures!
Photocopied yeah, but clear quality.
And it's always interesting to see what
the local Belfast punks get up to on a
Saturday night. A small but lively punk
scene is caught here for posterity
which is another chapter in the
province's lively punk scene. And you
know what makes this? You can tell
there ain't no pretense. The writing is
real and honest. Belfast always
seemed to have a really good punk
scene, it's good to see things ain't
changed. The Paddy's are still
capable of making bands feel good
and wanted. Which is damn rare in the
UK punk scene these days. You get
chaotic gig pix, reviews, news and
views. With just enough young
punks/skins jumping around to save
us from those jaded looks that ruin
other scenes. A glimpse that makes
this feel real. Cheers to Mick Rant for
throwing this in. And guess what it's
FREE!
with a s.a.e. from Bill, 5 Glen Road,
Belfast, BT5 7JH.
POSITIVE CREED
Issue #1 2001 ***
Good to see yet another new zine on
the streets of Britain. And this debut
issue is a particularly smart looking
one. With 32 crisp
'n' clear
photocopied pages of clinical punk
print. And it's all done in a good, well
thought out slash 'n' epoxy layout.
Which I like a lot! I did have my
reservations at first. Especially when I
read in the editorial that this zines
influences come from nearly all the
zines I despise. But Rob Stone the
anarcho editor and lead singer in
Exeter punk band
Abusive Youth,
proved me wrong. It seems like he
took this up for the similar reasons I
did, but with an early 80's protest
perspective. There's a massive 7
bands interviewed!!! They're just long
enough to give you the right info and
don't ramble on. And unlike the usual
clinical Anarchist terrain, they pretty
much cover the whole punk spectrum.
Which is encouraging. We get current
UK zinedom whores
P.U.S., the
highly underrated Antibodies, the
hideously unfunny
Anal Beard,
Anarcho vets
Oi Polloi, Chesterfield
bores
W.O.R.M., the cringe worthy
Bus Station Loonies who sickeningly
love everyone. And lastly Rob's own
band
Abusive Youth get the once
over, being interviewed by another
zine. There's a profile of fellow
anarcho bin man (and grasser) Ian
from the sanctimonious 'In Darkness
There Is No Choice' zine ha! Good to
see he's still busy blowing his own
trumpet. And a bloody good
Crass
retrospective and discography by
Mitch (Nihilism collaborator). Another
healthy sign was the music reviews.
They were small but covered a good
selection. But what's this?....no zine
reviews boo hoo!!!! Seems like a lot
UK zinewriters these days shun away
from zine reviews. Coz they feel scared
to call em shit or risk being ostracized.
I'll give you a tip mate....the more
honest you are the better the read,
believe me!
Positive Creed could
also do with a bit more character or
humour, but that can only come with
time! For an 80p debut this shows
signs of becoming a well worthy read.
Thanx to Mitch for sharing this with me.
It could be yours for 80p from 17A
Charnley Avenue, St. Thomas, Exeter,
England.
SAVAGE AMUSEMENT
#13 May-August 2001
***
More punk and Oi! for the masses
from Sir Trev Hagl's humourous and
considerably more tolerant pen these
days.  Must be all that collaborating
with cunts like 'Broken' publications.
He still finds time to push down our
throats his pet protégés Barse 77.
They've had more hype in the UK zine
scene than a gang of Fat Wreck
bands at a bowling weekend. Despite
this, Savage Amusement is still
definitely the best 12-page newsletter
on what's happening down on the hard
'n' heavy street. However and this ain't
Trev's fault there is a heavy barrage of
reissued product by bands who are
either very dead or need to be shot
and put out their 2nd or 3rd time
around misery. I'm all for a classic
reissues of past glories handily
packaged on CD format but some of
these are demos of demos and can
get quite infuriating. This is still free
with an
S.A.E. so give it a go from
S.A.E. c/o Rosehill, 20 New Front St,
Tanfield Lea, Stanley, Co Durham,
DH9 9LY, UK
trevhagl@hotmail.com
DEFIANT POSE #4 2001 ****
Be Jyyyzusss this is a blast from the
past. The last issue of London's
Defiant
Pose
to hit Britain's streets was back in
1981!!!!! So you'd be right in thinking
Mike the editor was pretty laid back in his
approach. But hold your horses for just
one second. Printed word might be
scarce on the ground round W11, but
Mike ain't been idle. For a start his high
quality distro
Inflammable Material has
been active for years and years. And
besides that, he's been in a few bands
since '78 with
Decadent Few springing
to mind. So he's got the drill and sure
ain't been dragging his Defiant heels
totally. The
Defiant Pose philosophy on
life is if bands can reform then fuck it,
why not zines? And It's good to have
another zine writer back in the UK ink
cells who has an opinion of his own.
Instead of the sheep that cover the same
old bands and heap on us the same old
rules...
snooze!!! Defiant Pose won't
inflict that on us for sure, although we
could fall asleep waiting for the next
issue to arrive. Yeah poseurs, more
defiance is planned depending how this
one hits the fan? It's 64 pages are
packed solid full of views, insights and
general opinions on what life throws at a
punk. Maybe a bit too nostalgic for
some, but this is after all the reentry
edition. And it ain't an easy read coz it
comes at you from different angles.
Defiant Pose won't give up it's goods
easily. And some of them are worth
pursuing. But you gotta prowl it's pages
for the booty. Which is a good move in
one way, but it can be frustrating.
Especially when articles overlap each
other like hands outstretched trying to
catch a barmaids attention in a busy pub
on a Friday night (snigger). So lazy
readers who want it all on a plate in
neatly indexed sections beware, coz you
won't like it too much. There's no
defining this issue either, which has
gotta be good. What stands out most
about this zine is Mike's bitter, cynical,
and extremely entertaining observations
on London life and the punk scene in
general. I like his style coz he don't
bullshit. He admitted,
"if it was 100%
down to me, the obnoxious quotient
would've been on every page, but there's
a limit to just slagging off everything"
.
Well that maybe true, but id rather read
a witty put down than banal praise any
day of the week, wouldn't you?
Defiant
Pose
comes in an original cut 'n' paste
style, with well picked stark images and
text peering out from beneath the page.
Some of the duplications were a strain
on the eyes but the purloined interviews
were diverse. There's part one of a
quirky Keith Levine (ex-
Clash/PIL) heart
to heart. Alongside a gritty Gulf War
veteran perspective. Lots of guest
articles on teenagers, death row, Dublin
punks, a Seattle scene report , 77 photo
gallery, a Brazilian scene report and
people I've never even heard of? Plus a
great insight into the original wave of
fanzines reprinted from Sounds back in
1977.  That alone should have the fellow
zinesters out there blowing chunks. Best
of all was an hysterical Sir George
Robey (old London punk venue)
spotlight, I can still smell the urine. No
reviews this issue, which is a pity, coz id
really like to hear what Mike thinks of
today's punk. The knives are definitely
still sharp in W11!!!!!
INFLAMMABLE MATERIAL
RANT#2 **
Well Mick the editor seems eager to
get this out, but sending me a free
copy won't hide the fact that this is a
rushed job. I was pretty impressed with
the debut issue (reviewed on the next
page) and was looking forward to see
how Rant could progress, but Rant #2
ain't quite so diverse as it's
predecessor. The handwriting has
disappeared only to be replaced with
down syndrome capitol typewriter text.
It reminds me of that 90's zine Shadow
from Fred West central. But Rant's
obvious main priority at the moment is
speed and I don't mean the dodgy
substances sold on the streets of the
Low Hill estate either. Coz this hastily
put together zine nose dives heavily
into middle-aged, testosteroned Oi!
territory, know what I mean? Bands
like the god awful
Swellbellys (what a
hideous name) adorning the front
cover give's us exactly what the public
think punk is today...a joke. Hey Mick
what's happened? Have you just
discovered skinheads in the
supermarket or wot? Cos this read is
heavily Oi! orientated and it stifles any
punk progression. Don't get me wrong
I love a good skin read but Running
Through The Backstreets this ain't.
And a couple of Micky Fitz vest shots
darrrrrn the Leicester Lamplighter
don't exactly turn me on. There are
some good observations like 'The
Comdemned 84 Are Nazis' denial.
Which had me laughing, especially
when it wasn't the local A.N.L. who
were doing the accusing but their own
record label and fellow skins GMM
Records (snigger). What really needs
banning is
Comdemned 84's
music...coz it's just predictable basic
Oi! While all that was kicking off, local
drama queen Lazza Ogden gives us a
humourous tale from Notts punx picnic,
god ain't he a bullshitter!!! Plus an
honest view of the Derby punx picnic
too. Didn't really need to know about
Skegness though??? There seems
more to read this issue considering
the page count is reduced to 32 but
Rant is still lacking something novel
that's gonna draw in new readers.
Mick complains he ain't getting much
interest and you can see why! The big
roundup of Morecambe 2001 didn't
really tell us what we don't already
know. But highlight of this issue had to
be the
Mercyless Kop interview. Now
here's a band I'm really looking
forward to catching live some day.
Even if it means watching the singer
dropping the nut on some wall tee
hee. Alan the singer in question
sounds like a punk who knows the
score...
"to me its far better
watching a fucking wild stage show
full of energy and aggression than
some boring old fart on stage telling
the world what a wonderful day he's
having."
Spot on!!! A great attitude
sadly lacking in today's front men. The
crawling mid 80's resurrected
Foreign
Legion
in America was a laff, just to
hear em lick arse as much as anyone
since Chris Wheelchair. The cut 'n'
paste layout although is my favourite
choice in zines just looks sloppy if you
don't spend a bit more time on it. On
the whole Rant needs a load more text
and diversity if it wants to draw a
bigger audience than the gang of
pygmies from Papua new Guinea who
read it at the moment. So c'mon Mick
give us some real rants instead of
space fillers.
50p plus 2 stamps from 9 Sutton
Court, 47 Leicster Road, Broughton
Astley, Leicestershire, LE9 6QE,
England
2001 ZINE REVIEWS: PAGE 1 - PAGE 2
PAGE 1 - PAGE 2
JELLYBRAIN #10
2002
****
After I came face to face with my latest
zine nemesis - a  Mr Paul Jellybrain, at
last years
Brezhnev gig. What was
gonna happen? Were we gonna blank
each other, have a scrap on the sticky
carpet during the sound check or play
conkers? Well none of the above
occurred and l didn't detect a glass or
dirty look being aimed in my direction
from our exceedingly sly editor either.
We just sorta pretended nothing was
said and let dead dogs lie tee hee.
But what I did detect was his latest
swag of putdowns, kinky hang-ups
and dead iffy taste in greasy dago
pop jumping out from the zine box. So
I had to bite me tongue and buy a
copy off the cunt (between me and
you, Jellybrain just gets better and is
without a doubt the best all round
entertaining British fanzine your likely
to fit in a Tesco shopping bag theses
days...but don't tell him OK). This
issues been a year in the making but
well worth the wait. From the brilliant
front-page byline of
"...because life
can fuck you up the arse and seldom
respects you in the morning"
to the
honest 'right on' rant on the last page,
it's a fucking corker! If like me, you get
off on humour from the darker side of
life with lots of twists 'n' turns, you'll
fuckin love this twisted 'n' bitter 36
page side splitter. Tracy Emin that
scruffy rubber lipped UK artist who
unveiled her unmade bed as a piece
of art and got critical acclaim from the
art boffs, gets a severe come upance.
While she's being coshed Jellybrains
other pet hate the US of A 's act of
independence, gets some serious
amendments. And while were laughing
at the absurd that loony on a tram in
Amsterdam story was a fitting
introduction to weirdo world of
Jellybrain. And all this occurs before
we even reach page 5! The few
slightly pedestrian moments we do get
in Jellybrain these days, comes with
the editors dubious fascination with
European underground bands. The
spotlight this issue falls on Euro
minstrels,
the Peewees and The
Mighty Gordinis
, who sound really
exciting (adopt sarcy tone). Plus that
Jap girly outfit
Mikabomb, who are
here for their looks not their hooks!
The bands all come as a one page
brief respite of normality in between
the crackin sarcy observations and
wicked cartoon sketches. Paul's a
great artist if you didn't know already,
and his cartoon adaptations really
work well with his dry one liners.
Jellybrain's current '39 observations
on life' needs some serious
investigation. Take the
"you can't
respect a man who carries a dog"
for
example, or the fucking hilarious
"prodding a fire with a stick makes
you feel manly"
tee hee. See what I
mean? It's cracks like this that makes
for a barrel of laffs. Those real life
situations he encounters on his
travels can only mean snidey
comments are about to enter your air
space, and the more the merrier I say.
The tale of the American couple he
met in an Amsterdam bar or his early
career as a transient squatter are a
laff a minute. The 8 pages of reviews
are always a must to read, both on
record and zines. It ain't so much for
the product you read em, but for the
way he sum's em up! Take the
doomed
Mouthwash CD for
example...
"The member of the Star
Trek landing party with the red jumper
has more chance of seeing the end of
the episode than this has of seeing
the inside of my CD player again!"  
guffaw!!! Listen... just buy the fucker
and see for yerself coz you won't
regret it!
JELLYBRAIN
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